213: Why Your Health Needs a Mission Statement

Scot: Last time Eric was on, he shared his mission statement for health, and it really stopped me in my tracks. I don't know, guys, if you remember this or not, but I'm going to give it to you here in a second. And it made me realize that we talk a lot about what to do for our health, but not enough about why we bother doing those things.

So today I thought we'd try something different in Eric's . . . it's not really in his honor, but it's to follow something that I thought was really cool that he did. We're going to talk about creating our own health mission statements.

This is "Who Cares About Men's Health," with information, inspiration, and a different interpretation of men's health. I bring the BS. My name is Scot. The MD to my BS is Dr. John Smith.

Dr. Smith: Good afternoon.

Scot: Producer Mitch, he cares about his health, and we're glad he's on the show.

Mitch: Hey, there.

Scot: And the guy . . . I don't even know if you remember this, Eric. Eric Taylor, he's been on the podcast a couple times. We had a conversation, I think it was last year sometime, and you brought up a health mission statement. I want to talk to him more about that. We didn't have a lot of time in that episode. Do you remember your health mission statement?

Eric: I sure do. And I also have it in front of me just in case I didn't remember it.

Scot: All right. So, yeah, in the other podcast when he was on, he said that he has a mission statement that drives what he does for his health. What is your health mission statement? Share that with the guys.

Eric: It is "I commit to a healthier lifestyle to inspire my family and to live a long, fulfilling life."

Scot: You guys remember this now?

Mitch: Yeah.

Dr. Smith: Yes.

Mitch: I do.

Scot: I mean, that is a meaningful mission statement. I love that. And I'm going to tell you a couple of things that I love that popped out at me, and I want to see if you guys agree or if you have anything else.

I love that last little part, "inspire my family and live a long, fulfilling life." Those are bigger aspirations than just "be mobile later in my years so I can do the things I want." That kind of isn't very specific. But what I liked about Eric's was it was very specific, not only just a long life, but fulfilling life. And I'm sure if we were to ask him, "What is a fulfilling life?" he knows what those components are.

So is there anything that stood out to that mission statement when you guys heard it? John?

Dr. Smith: It makes me think at how maybe bad I am at doing this thing in my own life and how inspiring it is to hear from other people, to be fair.

Scot: That was exactly the feeling I wanted you to have. I wanted you to feel inadequate, so that's perfect.

Dr. Smith: It's great because you hear that and you think, "Well, I want that too." It's the immediate, "Yeah, me too, man."

Scot: Yeah, right?

Dr. Smith: I love that. Having goals and those things, I've been working with my teenage daughter about setting goals and things. She just finished up with her regional swim tournament. And I said, "What are your goals for the summer? What's your goal going into the next season? Because you need to set goals."

And so having that mission statement for me is kind of that long-term goal. And that's what it makes me think of, is, "I should probably do a little bit more in that regard." I love that it puts that into perspective for him.

Mitch: One of the things that I really liked was not only that it was so focused, but also it's kind of a North Star. And it kind of takes me back to when I was doing media consulting work all these years ago. You've got to have a North Star for whatever project, whatever thing you're working on. All decisions need to go back to, "What are you trying to do here?"

It was just funny that until I heard Eric actually have this kind of mission statement for his own life, I'm like, "Oh, that would probably be really good to have."

Scot: Yeah. And it's aspirational. His is very aspirational. I don't know if all of them need to be aspirational, but I think that's kind of what we want to talk through, because our goal is to maybe come up with our own mission statements or start heading that way.

So, Eric, talk us through the process of getting to that statement. I don't imagine that was the first thing that popped into your head.

Eric: No, it wasn't. So it started with me rethinking what it really means to find your why. And most of these health changes don't fail because people don't really know what to do or anything like that. They fail because of motivation. And so you have that willpower. You have that guilt. You have that pressure from others. But after a while, that just won't sustain that long-term change.

Now, I don't know if you guys recall, but the thing that started me was kind of a fear-based motivation. My doctor kind of warned me that if I was heading down the same path, I wouldn't last very long.

Mitch: Oh, that's right.

Eric: And so even with that, you can only have that fear base for so long because when the fear fades, so does consistency. Sure, for the first year, I'm eating right. I'm walking. I'm doing everything I can. But after a while, you're like, "Oh, man, a pizza would be amazing right now."

Scot: That's right.

Eric: And it's just crazy to think that something like fear of dying might not even motivate you enough.

With that understanding, I try to focus less on setting impressive goals and more on uncovering the deeper reasons behind them. So I worked backwards from the surface-level goals until I just kind of arrived at the motivations that felt personal, and honest, and just sustainable so that I could just do that for my family.

Scot: So I don't know if you can remember or not, but what did that work look like? Did you have to sit down with a piece of paper or sit down at your computer and a keyboard and spend a half hour, 45 minutes brainstorming all the things that matter to you? Or did you just think about this one little bit at a time? How did that work?

Eric: Well, it went through steps. And what I did is I kind of just started thinking about alignment and longevity, about the kind of person I wanted to become and the kind of life I wanted to live long term, especially in relation to my family.

So I looked at it, and I just want my kids to know what it looks like to take care of yourself. I'm not perfect in that whatsoever, but I try to be consistent with it. And so I want my body to support the life that I hope to live with them for years to come, and not limit it.

And so this why statement, I tried to do a clear one that creates that emotional ownership. Because let's face it, goals like just saying, "Lose weight," or, "Get healthy," are so abstract and often meaningless, because on hard days, that's not going to get you out of bed to go walking.

But when it's tied to for your family, or having energy, or reducing pain, or maintaining independence as you age, those habits stop feeling like a punishment and they start feeling like acts of self-respect.

Scot: That resonates with me because I will be far more accountable to other people than myself. If I promise to do something for somebody else, I will do it. If I promise to do it for myself, there's a 50-50 chance it ain't going to happen.

So this idea that part of it is to inspire your family, I could see you waking up in the morning and going, "All right. Well, I don't want to do this, but I said I want to inspire my family." Part of that is setting a good example of what health looks like, and that means sometimes we get up and we do the things we don't want to do when we don't want to do them. What are other ways that you hope to inspire your family in this mission statement?

Eric: As I was going through it, I just was looking at the different aspects of it. And for my kids and for my wife, I think that they want me there, right? They don't want to live a life without their dad. They want Dad to be at their weddings, and their graduations, and whatever it may be.

Scot: Yeah, he's paying for it. So, of course, they want this.

Eric: Exactly right. But they want that. So I started looking at what they need from me. What would inspire them to do that?

It's hard because sometimes your kids are like, "I don't want to go walking, Dad." And you're like, "Come on, let's just go walk." And so in that situation, you just try to get them to go out walking with you just to have a talk. It's one-on-one time with my kid. They don't know that I'm walking a mile with them. All they see is, "Hey, I get to spend time with Dad, and we talk about what my day was like today."

Scot: And then when you talk about a fulfilling life, what does that mean to you?

Eric: A fulfilling life is just being able to live my life, do the things that I want to do without the pain. I don't know about you guys, but every morning I wake up, and I think, "What just happened? What did I do in the middle of the night that my knees and my elbows are hurting? I was just asleep."

I want to get to that point where I just don't want to feel that pain. I want to be able to years from now . . . I'm turning 54 later this week, and I want to be able to, in the future, still be able to go hiking, still be able to go biking, still be able to go walking with my wife, or whatever it may be.

And that's what I think is a sustainable life, just to have that goal of being active and not just sitting around watching my favorite TV show and eating popcorn all day or anything.

Dr. Smith: Something you said a couple minutes ago struck me. I think you said, "Inspiring self-respect." It kind of just struck, and I was like, "That's a really cool thought of wanting to do this for your family," but also it instills in you that self-respect of yourself to, "Hey, I want to be here. I want to be present," and it gives that moment."

Not that we don't have self-respect all the time, but I think acknowledging those times when we're doing things and the reason we're doing them is a lot of the things we talk about. And that kind of just hit in a way that I hadn't heard that utilized.

People say, "Have some self-respect." Your dad, when you're doing something as a kid, when you're doing something wrong, he's like, "You're ruining the family name. Have some self-respect." And when you put it in that context, it was in a very positive light of like, "I'm showing that I have self-respect in myself to care enough to put this together for myself and my family," so that you can bring that fulfilling life. I thought that was neat.

Scot: I want to dig into how you created this again, because I guess I see myself . . . if I had to create it, I'd probably have to sit down for a while and really think what matters to me in my life, what motivates me, what brings me happiness. Were those the things you thought about? Or is it just kind of, for you, it's always at the forefront of your mind, and that is your family?

Eric: It's interesting because it went through different drafts. I did so many revisions on this. The early drafts were focused mostly on physical appearance outcomes, like wanting a six-pack or biceps the size of my head.

Scot: That's my boy.

Eric: Those are goals, but they're not a mission. You just want to walk around on the beach and be like, "Look at me," right? And so then when I started doing my middle revisions, I began replacing what I wanted with who I wanted to be. And that kind of involved shifting from avoiding the negative state, which was the fear base that I was working on, to moving towards a vision of future.

So basically, it's like trading the anxiety of not dying for the ambition of living well. That's kind of where I went to.

And then the final version was just refined until it focused on the functionality and the longevity. I asked kind of, "What would being healthier allow me to do? Or who do I want to be in 10 years?" And that's kind of where I got to the final version of it.

Scot: Guys, do you have a mission statement for your health? Do you even have the beginning of a rough draft for that if we were to build them today?

Mitch: I do.

Scot: Oh, Mitch does.

Mitch: I thought we had homework. I spent all yesterday creating a murder board of bulletin with string rung from one thing to another. I'm ready to share it.

Scot: All right. Well, then bring it on. I can't wait to hear this.

Mitch: Okay. I, Mitch Sears, commit to a healthier lifestyle so that I can sustain the stability that I have built and the calm that comes with it, with the energy and mobility to stay active, capable, and engaged in the life I care about and be fully there for the people in it.

Scot: Wow. That is amazing. Give us that one more time. I love that.

Mitch: I commit to a healthier lifestyle so that I can sustain the stability I've built and the calm that comes with it, with the energy and mobility to stay active, capable, and engaged in the life I care about and be there for the people in it.

Scot: I love that. That's awesome.

Mitch: Thank you.

Eric: Teacher's pet.

Dr. Smith: Man, you're going to get called to the office here in a minute, Mitch.

Mitch:Right?

Scot: My mission statement: I commit to a healthier lifestyle so next time I go on a road trip, I don't have to wear sweatpants. I can wear jeans without my gut hanging over my belt. How about that?

Mitch: I like that one too.

Scot: Yeah. That's my mission statement.

Eric: I like that you took different aspects and you were focused on that. I think it's the important thing. As long as you know what you are shooting for and you have it specifically in . . . "This because of this, because of this," I think that's the best way to write these things, that you can see how it ends up. So you're not just saying, "I want to lose weight." Okay. How do you want to lose weight? "I want to lose weight by . . ." Like that. So bravo. Great job.

Mitch: Thank you.

Scot: I love "the calm that comes with it," maintaining your health, and also the stability that comes with good healthy habits. I have been engaging in less-than-great healthy habits lately, and as I try to get over what those are, I say, "All right. I need to start healing." And that's what I mean. I want to get back to a mind state that's calm or I want to get back to a stable place, where these unhealthy habits tend to lead you to an unstable place.

And the energy part I love because a long time ago, somebody had said something about, "What is the purpose of health?" And they said, "The purpose of health is to be able to continue to the things you want to pursue," whatever those are, or to contribute to the world in the way you want to contribute. It's not the end-all. It's a . . . what is that called? A means to an end. It's not the end. It's the means to an end in your life, and yours really reflects that, I think.

Mitch: Well, and that's kind of what . . . Because that was what kept coming up. It was those conversations, that quote about life and what we need from it, etc.

But I don't know, man. My 20s were really rough. There was a lot of . . . I wasn't really living my life. I was kind of just surviving. Yeah, it took some effort to get to where I'm at, and I don't want to backslide too far.

Scot: Yeah. I like that a lot.

Dr. Smith: I think Mitch's . . . I mean, he came out with fire. I'd really like a photograph of that murder board you have, by the way. That sounds like it took some time.

But no, I think of all the episodes we have, you've encompassed the last couple of years that I've been kind of a fixture on the show with your journey in that statement. It's powerful to hear the things that you've achieved and that you want to maintain those, but then also continue to grow with the way things are going, and make it so that anyone who becomes a part of that sees the beauty of what you've created.

Man, it was powerful. Really. It was like, "Oh, man, that's like Mitch in four sentences. That's awesome."

Mitch: Thank you.

Dr. Smith: I think you understood the assignment maybe better than I did, but I'll give you my mantra. This is what I came up with. It says, "I commit to a healthier lifestyle so that I can remain an athlete my children look up to, be an active anchor for my family, and a strong present member of my community, and the partner to my spouse so that we can explore the world for decades to come."

Mitch:I like that.

Scot:Wow.

Mitch: Yeah, it's amazing.

Scot:So good.

Mitch:Are you okay, Scot?

Scot: No, I'm not. I'm not okay because I forgot to write my own. I just heard two killer ones in addition to Eric's, and I only have just pieces and parts. So I can give you . . . Well, do you want to talk about John's? Anybody want to go?

Dr. Smith: Throw it into ChatGPT while we're talking. It will put it together for you.

Mitch:It will buy you some time. No, John, for you to say that, "Oh my god, I don't know, blah, blah, blah," that felt very John Smith to me, and everything that I have learned about you in the last little while of working together and getting to know each other and where you're at.

That thing about being an active part of your life resonated so much with me because that was something that kept coming up in my own reflective work. There's a lot of time in one's life that it feels almost like you're just rudderless. You're just surviving and making it through this program, making it through this whatever, just, "Oh my god, it'll be better in two weeks, blah, blah, blah." But it might not, and you've got to be present and actively trying to be present, because depending on what you believe or whatever, you've got one go.

Dr. Smith: Well, I think if you're active, you can become a passenger really easy. And that's something I think that I have a tendency to do sometimes in certain situations. I don't appreciate that about myself. That's one of the things that my mom did, is she was so passive that she just became a passenger with a lot of things. And I don't want to have that in my life.

I think that's something that's kind of a trigger for me in a way of, "I don't want to have that be there." And so I think that was an important thing for me to have that as a very key word of like, "I want to be an active part of my life and not just watch it go by."

Eric: The word that I love that you used there was anchor. I think that's such an important word because I think that it kind of needs to be that anchor, something that you can lean on when that motivation dips, because it will dip eventually. But if you have that anchor, you have that motivation ready to go, then you should be able to get through whatever passes you for the day, whatever you have coming up in that day.

Scot: All right, gentlemen. The thing I put into . . . ChatGPT was worthless. It did not give me anything good, but I do have the bits and pieces. I'm going to tell you how I'm going to continue to work through them, because I think I have a good game plan now. So I'm sorry I was not prepared.

But I commit to a healthier lifestyle and my components . . . I like being useful to other people. I like being helpful. So I want to have a healthier lifestyle so I can continue to do that, however that shows up, whether that's helping somebody move or helping somebody write something that's going to contribute to their business.

I'm supporting a couple of friends by writing some stuff, and I like to keep my mind sharp, right? And a healthier lifestyle allows me to do that, be useful both physically and mentally.

Enjoy life, enjoying the company of others, being able to support others. Now, I'm going to say how I need to refine that is I think I need to dig into "What does that mean? What does that look like?"

So a helpful exercise. If you're creating your own mission statement or creating anything, we tend to use a lot of placeholder words. When somebody asks you, "Hey, how was that experience that you had? How was your vacation, John?" and John's like, "It was awesome," that's a filler word.

So one needs to then ask themselves, "Well, what do I mean by it was awesome? Why was it awesome? What did awesome look like?" And then you start getting into the details. "Well, my kids, I saw freedom in them that I haven't seen in the past few months," or whatever. So look for those filler words and dig into what that means. I know I need to do that.

And I thought something else that was interesting that might help other people come up with their own were some questions. And these are some commonalities I noticed among all of you and among Eric's.

Maybe one question you can ask if you're stuck and you're trying to come up with yours is, "What am I afraid of if I don't take care of myself?" And really, that's where it started for you, Eric, right?

Eric: Yeah, it absolutely started with fear.

Scot: And I love then that you took that and turned it from fear into something more aspirational. Psychology has shown that people tend to react better to more positive health messages than negatively framed health messages.

So instead of just landing and keeping it on, "What am I afraid of?" use that as a springboard then to say, "Well, what is it that I want to be able to do?" so when I look back, I'm like, "Oh, I wasted that."

Another thing Eric did, who pays the price when I'm not healthy? And I was considering that with the friends in my life that I want to be helpful to or contribute to still. So that might be another question you can ask yourself.

Was there a moment that changed things? And that was in Eric's story, right? That visit to the doctor where his doctor said, "Look, you've got less than a year." Is that what he told you?

Eric: Yeah.

Scot:Was it that bad? Yeah, that's crazy, man.

Dr. Smith: It is crazy.

Eric: It is crazy.

Mitch: It's a lot, yeah.

Scot: I guess it's crazy enough to make you sit down and rethink a few things. So maybe you could do that without that moment. But maybe there was a moment.

There was a moment recently for me where I've been really good about controlling my beer drinking, and I had a couple more than I should have, and I paid the price the next day. I'm just like, "I don't want this to happen again. I don't like how my brain feels. I feel anxious. I don't like how my body feels. My stomach's upset." So that was a reset in a way, but hopefully we don't have to always go through those.

"Who do I want to become?" could be another question you can ask yourself, or even a more powerful question, "Who do I not want to become?" So as you're working through this process, maybe ask those questions.

And then that might lead to, "When I'm at my best, who am I?" and "If nothing changes for 10 years, what would you regret most?" Those are some thoughts to think about as you build this up.

All right. Well, Eric, thank you very much for inspiring us with your mission statement. You guys, John and Mitch, came up with great mission statements. I feel as though I let the group down, but I will continue to work on mine.

Any final thoughts that you guys want to wrap up with?

Eric: When you're creating your statement, just don't have it so rigid. Be more vague about it, because if you're vague about it, then it doesn't feel like you've . . . For example, mine, as long as I'm not polishing off an entire pizza in one sitting, I count it as a win, right?

But if you write something like, "I'm going to achieve and maintain absolute physical and nutritional perfection and eat zero sugar and work out 90 minutes every single day," you're going to fail, and you're going to feel like that.

I think it was Mitch that was talking, and then all of a sudden you're on that path where you're like, "Well, I already ate a box of doughnuts today, so I have no point of exercising. And tomorrow's taco Tuesday," and so on and so forth. And then next thing you know, you've gone three weeks without exercising.

So just keep it vague enough, but still powerful enough so that you can focus on what you want so that it's not just constantly kicking you in the teeth that you've failed every single time.

Scot: Right. Yours is aspirational, the healthier lifestyle to inspire my family and live a long, fulfilling life, but it's a whole different thing to have a six-pack, right? To have a six-pack, there's not a lot of room for error. But for you, there's some room for enjoyment. Actually, it's in your statement. You want to live a fulfilling life, and sometimes a fulfilling life means having the doughnut, right?

Eric: Exactly right.

Scot: Or having the pie at Thanksgiving or whatever.

Mitch, any thoughts?

Mitch: I just love this. And thank you, Eric, so much for sharing it, and Scot for giving us the homework. There are times, I think, a lot when we talk about this show that had I not had this show, had I not had other guys that I've come in contact with, where we talk about what fuels them, what makes their health work, what makes whatever, I don't know if I ever would have done this.

Scot: Cool. Well, we've saved at least one guy, I guess.

John, final thoughts?

Dr. Smith: Kind of taking some stock, and it's funny because I've been harping on my teenager to set goals and then Scot's like, "Here's your homework, sucker." And so it was kind of like, "Ha-ha, here you go, buddy." It was very similar to what I've asked her to do in a way, and so it's kind of fun for me to be able to. And I haven't shared this with her yet.

Scot: Oh, are you going to?

Dr. Smith: I think I will after this conversation. I think the things I've been asking her to do, now I can go to her and say, "Hey, guess what? For the podcast, I came up with this statement, just like I'm asking you to do. Here's my thought process, and here's what I've done." So I'm actually kind of excited to punt that her way and say, "Hey, this isn't just lip service here, kid."

Scot: I love that.

Mitch:That's so sweet.

Dr. Smith: "I'm walking the walk, sucker."

Scot: You are. I can't tell you about the smile on my face. This podcast has now caused you to force family fun. It's forced you to have an interaction with your daughter that could lead to some really great conversations, right?

Dr. Smith: I think it's going to be great because she'll see . . . A lot of times, your parents are harping on you and you're like, "They're telling me to do all this crap. I don't want to do it." And I think this is probably going to be helpful for her to go, "Oh, crap. He actually sat down and took the time, just like he's telling me to do."

I'm actually thankful. So thank you, Scot, for pushing that homework. And I'm glad I took the opportunity to do it. Yeah, that's where I'm at.

Scot: All right, gentlemen. As always, just talking about it can make such a huge difference.

And challenge to you, the listeners: Start working on your mission statement. See if you can come up with something. And maybe even take it to the next level, like John did. Maybe even assign it around the household, and then y'all could have a talk about it. I think that would be just an amazing family moment. That would be very cool.

If you'd like to share any thoughts, insights, if you have a killer mission statement you're pretty proud of that you created a murder board and just shaped it into perfection like Mitch did, you can reach out to us at any time at hello@thescoperadio.com.

Thanks for listening, and thanks for caring about men's health.