Skip to main content

Caring for Yourself while Caring for a Loved One

Read Time: 2 minutes

Oxygen masks hanging from ceiling of plane

Think about the last time you were on an airplane. What do the flight attendants tell you to do if the oxygen masks drop down from overhead? Put your own mask on first. If you don’t make sure you’re getting oxygen, you won’t be able to help anyone else.

This same rule applies to caregivers. It’s important to take care of your own needs before you “run out of oxygen.”

Being a caregiver can be overwhelming, time-consuming, and draining. Studies show that more than 50% of caregivers experience burnout because they neglect themselves while juggling their caregiving responsibilities. Here are some tips and resources that can help you focus some attention on yourself and avoid burning out.

Ask for help

Let people help, and when making requests—be specific. Family members, friends, and neighbors want to help, but they may not know how. When someone says, "Let me know what I can do," give him or her a task like bringing dinner, taking your kids to school, or mowing the lawn.

Talk it out

Consider meeting with a social worker or a support group. Social workers are here for caregivers as well as patients. Social workers also run a weekly support group specifically for caregivers.

Allow yourself to grieve

Give yourself permission to cry, be angry, or feel whatever you are feeling.

Prioritize your physical and mental health

Eat well, get physical activity, and rest. Take time to visit with your doctor during your yearly visit or whenever needed.

Take things one day at a time

Understand you will have good days and bad days.

Educate yourself

Knowing all you can about your loved one’s cancer may help you feel more in control and help you set realistic expectations. The Cancer Learning Center has materials and health educators to assist you.

Take care of your spiritual needs

Spirituality can be a source of strength and support for caregivers. Reach out to your religious leaders. Chaplains and spiritual care volunteers help both patients and caregivers.

Make time for yourself

Even five minutes each day of deep breathing can help. Or take advantage of classes and services available to caregivers and patients through the Wellness and Integrative Health Center. Offerings include art therapy, exercise classes, creative writing, meditation, music therapy acupuncture, and massage therapy.

Consider using resources like the Daily Dozen, a set of twelve questions our social workers recommend to help you assess your well-being, along with communication tips to support you in expressing your needs clearly.

Remember, taking care of your mental and physical health is essential. Just as you’re advised on an airplane, put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others.

Cancer touches all of us.