How to Handle Screen Related Temper Issues in Children

Increased Screen Time Linked to Emotional Dysregulation

If you're a parent, you've seen it happen. Your child or another child is on screen time and you try to take the device away and the child goes into a full-blown meltdown. I see it in kids as young as 1 year old here in the office.

Well, a new study shows that toddlers seem to have shorter fuses and get more frustrated and angry for a variety of reasons, but the biggest reason for more temper issues in toddlers and preschoolers — tablet use. The new study was published recently in "JAMA Pediatrics," and it showed that tablet use at three and a half years old was associated with more anger outbursts a year later. Kids who were more likely to have anger and frustration issues at four and a half were more likely to have had higher tablet use at five and a half.

Long-Term Consequences of Using Electronics to Soothe Kids

What this is showing is that early childhood use of electronics may contribute to a cycle of what we call emotional dysregulation. One thought, which makes a lot of sense, is that when adults give kids a screen to calm them down, the child misses an opportunity to learn how to manage their negative emotions.

In fact, a recent study showed that kids ages 2 to 5 years old, who were given an electronic device by their parents to manage their outbursts, had poor anger and frustration management a year later. These kids were not able to figure out how to do a deliberate action to handle their emotions versus an automatic reaction of getting the tablet, which was not constructive.

Healthy Ways to Teach Children Emotional Regulation

Kids need to learn to manage their own negative emotions as part of their development. If they are given something like a tablet or a smartphone to soothe and distract them, they won't learn these important skills, and this could result in problems with anger management as they grow older, even into adulthood.

So should kids be completely restricted from electronic devices? I think what this study is trying to show is that electronics should not be babysitters or pacifiers when kids have temper tantrums. Kids need interpersonal interactions, not just watching something on a screen to distract them. While there are some apps that are educational and teach kids colors and shapes and things like that, they should be used sparingly. And a parent can help by doing the app with the kids and reinforcing what they're learning, not just turn over their smartphone to the child.

So the next time your child starts to have a meltdown, before you reach for an electronic device, think about how you can help them with words and interactions so you can teach them all these important coping skills and develop healthy ways of their dealing with their own frustrations.