Emily Scott’s son was around eight months old when she found out she was pregnant with her second baby.
Although the pregnancy was considered low risk, Scott started experiencing cramping and contractions around 27 weeks. Her OB referred her to the emergency room, where she was monitored for several hours. Luckily, her baby passed all the testing, so Scott was sent home.
Nine days later, Scott returned to the emergency room with the same issues.
“Both the baby and I passed all the testing, and I was sent on my way again,” she said.
Unfortunately, just nine days later—on Mother’s Day 2022—Scott woke up with heavy bleeding and went to the hospital for the third time where they told her the baby, a little girl, no longer had a heartbeat. Scott and her husband named the baby Eleanor. The loss was devastating.
Ten months later, Scott found out she was pregnant again. She and her family had just relocated to Salt Lake City, so she started to look for a doctor. She discovered Robert Silver, MD, chair of the Department of Obstetrics & Gynecology at University of Utah Health.
“I did my research on high-risk doctors and stillbirths, and Dr. Silver’s name came up multiple times,” Scott said. “I cried on the phone while I was scheduling my first appointment with his office. They got me in early, around five weeks along. From there, I had an ultrasound as frequently as I wanted, and Dr. Silver let me decide how often I wanted to come in for my appointments.”
For Silver, the most important thing for families to know is that every patient gets the individualized care they need, depending upon their circumstances. “Preterm birth was a major issue in Emily’s case,” he said. “We did lots of additional visits and assessments just to make sure everything was okay with her baby.”
“It’s not one size fits all. Each patient has their own medical and emotional needs, and we make sure we have a care plan that meets those needs.”
Scott decided to have an appointment every three weeks, until she hit her second trimester. That’s when she started to experience some bleeding again.
“I freaked out, because that’s similar to what happened when I lost my daughter,” she said. “At that point, Dr. Silver had me come in every other week.”
At 39 weeks, Scott went to University of Utah Hospital. “I had hoped to have a natural, non-medicated and minimal intervention birth experience this time around, since I didn’t get to have that experience with Eleanor,” Scott said. “I ended up opting to be induced and asked for an epidural, and less than 12 hours after being induced, my husband got to catch the baby and announce that it was a boy.”
One of the nurses took Scott’s phone and took pictures of baby Elliott meeting his mom and dad for the first time. “We got some really amazing pictures in the delivery room,” Scott said. “Everyone was really supportive.”
Silver wasn’t there for the birth, but Scott was able to see him for her six-week postpartum checkup.
“He doesn’t usually do that with patients, but we were able to make it happen,” Scott said. “It was really good for me to get to see him and talk with him about how things went, especially since he wasn’t able to be there for the delivery.”
Elliott is now eight months old, and Scott is still processing her grief over losing Eleanor. “The grief has definitely changed and come up in different ways,” she said. “When Elliott does something new, I realize that I never got to see Eleanor do those things.”
Scott often wonders what Eleanor would have been like as a sister to her two brothers. “It’s definitely a different level of grief that has changed over time,” she said.
Although it has been a bittersweet journey, Scott has learned a lot.
“I learned to advocate for myself as a patient. I felt more confident in myself as a mother, and that gave me a bit of reassurance during my pregnancy with Elliott.”
Scott has also found strength in numbers. “I’ve connected with a lot of moms who were going through what I went through,” she said. “I have had lots of people support me and reach out throughout my experience.”
Leaning on support from others when it’s offered is something that made a big difference for Scott and her family. “Unfortunately, stillbirth is a very common thing to have happen,” she said. “But the more we talk about it, the more people realize they’re not alone.”
More about the Utah Pregnancy After Loss Program
The Utah Pregnancy After Loss Program sees patients who have experienced the following:
• Stillbirth for any reason
• Newborn death for any reason
• Termination of pregnancy for medical or obstetric reasons
• Recurrent or other types of pregnancy loss
• Placental disorders including preeclampsia and fetal growth restriction
• Preterm birth due to medical or pregnancy problems
For those whose loss has just happened, the trauma is real, with answers and support hard to find. For those who seek another baby after loss, the road to a successful pregnancy is often a terrifying and lonely journey.
Families who have suffered loss, major pregnancy complications, and families who hope for another baby deserve cutting-edge medical care. They also often need mental health support in ways unique to their experience